What did you learn from previous relationships?

There are few precious lessons I learned from other’s previous relationships. These are wholly based on my observation. So, I am going to share them:

  1. Don’t let your love either blind you or misguide you. Career comes first in life. If you have lost your career, you will lose your girl in no time. The harsh reality, yes it is.
  2. Appearance matters a lot. People either leave their spouse or lose interest totally when the other half stop taking care of their body and become unattractive to them. So do take care of mind, body, and soul before marriage and after marriage. The harsh reality, yes it is.
  3. Physical intimacy is extremely important in a love relationship, but no more than loyalty and trust. Relationships of 30 to 40 years may crumble in minutes due to infidelity. So, don’t say that relationships that last more than a certain number of years are the ones that are successful.
  4. Respect your partner and his space. If you try to invade too much into his space, he might be suffocated. Let him breathe. Give him time and Don’t tag along all the time. It is not necessary to accompany him wherever he goes. If you are forcing him to take you everywhere out of suspicion, he will run away one day. A harsh reality, oh, yes it is.
  5. Never ask your boyfriend why he loved you, it irritates him. He may choose not to answer. You can see it on his face. These things may come into the umbrella of pestering your beloved. How sarcastic, oh, yes it is.
  6. The physical relationship cannot save your relationship if you truly thought so at some point of time. The harsh reality, oh, yes it is.
  7. Couples get bored of each other after spending time together eventually. They manage to know everything about each other and lose interest in some years, naturally and then boredom prevails. The harsh reality, oh, yes it is.
  8. Couples who argue often and fight about their notions and beliefs may last longer than the ones who lived a life with zero arguments and no disagreement. Understand the significance of communication. Power couples also have lots of disagreements, but they agree to disagree. The harsh reality, oh, yes it is.
  9. Love fades, the passion fades. Emotions vary with time. Your partner will not love you with the same intensity after few months or a few years, a heartbreaking reality for lovey doves. Oh, yes it is.
  10. You get to know about the true reality of your partner, only when you stay together. In another case, you will see their true side, when you will travel with them and struggle for mundane stuff in daily life.
  11. Focus on your studies, focus on your career, once you lose that crucial competitive exam, you may lose your partner too. Everybody is selfish and they are connected with you for their own reasons. Believe me or not, they will leave you once they find you unsuccessful. The harsh reality, oh, yes it is.
  12. Be on good terms with your mother-in-law and sister-in-law naturally, not selfishly. They play a crucial role in your relationship cause they are the most important people in your lover’s life, believe me, or not. If you screw up your relationship with these ladies due to your fake attitude and idiotic behavior, your love life will be screwed up too someday or other.
  13. Never marry your love for the sake of money. Men can see through these things easily, but they won’t tell you this ever.
  14. Don’t trust people’s words. They are deceptive and misguiding. Mind their actions and toss their words.
  15. There is nothing like one true love in the current era. Obviously, exceptions can be there, but they are few and negligible. The harsh reality for daydreamers, oh, yes it is.
  16. Your orthodox thinking and bad hygiene can be a dealbreaker. Not everyone can adjust to that in a long-term relationship So, mind your hygiene habits and traditional mindset. Nobody will put up with these unless they are compelled to do so. The harsh reality for lazy ones, oh yes, it is.
  17. Wear a natural smile and try to become the reason for his or her happiness. Nobody wants a pestering and whining partner in their life, no matter how beautiful or handsome you are.
  18. Smartness, kindness, loyalty, respect, and emotional intelligence are required to sustain your relationship prominently. A beautiful face and chiseled body cannot ensure a long-lasting relationship. Everyone gets fed up with that after some time. Apparently, things get boring, once you start owning them. The harsh reality, oh, yes, it is.
  19. Love is unconditional, you don’t need to prove your love to anyone. It can be seen in his or her eyes. If it is conditional and based on certain terms and conditions, it is not loved.
  20. Your lover cannot bring flowers, jewelry, chocolates, and expensive gifts and surprises for your whole life. This is solely valid and feasible for the first few dates to persuade the partner. You will have regular dates with him afterward. Get adjusted to this fact. The harsh reality, oh, yes it is.
  21. Long-distance relationships work in fairy tales. Most people break up based on their convenience. They will prefer the nearest available options. Obviously, exceptions are there, but they are few and negligible. I deny their existence most often. The harsh reality, oh, yes it is.
  22. Break up gives you a chance to retrospect. You get to know more about yourself in those tough times. You will realize that there are abundant opportunities with billions of people and your life does not end up with that one person. It indicates new beginnings and shows the silver lining of life. The harsh reality, oh, yes, it is.
  23. Begging and negotiating is useless and worthless once your partner decides to leave you. No matter how great you were to them, they will leave, once they made up their mind to leave.
  24. Don’t befriend your ex after a breakup or divorce. It does no good for your mental health.
  25. Your mental health and confidence may deteriorate temporarily. But it will be replenished later, once you are done with crying and begging to your old love.
  26. Don’t fall into a relationship with somebody when you are already carrying the baggage of another broken relationship. Don’t ruin someone else’s life in this way. Take time to heal yourself. Become a happier and independent person first.
  27. If he cheated on you and you found it well before you tied the knot, you are blessed cause you dodged the bullet, and you are saved from lifelong trauma and turmoil.
  28. Surprisingly, this world is full of gold-diggers. Get rid of them if you cannot afford them for your whole life. Equally, there is an abundance of nice guys who want favors in return for their niceness and hospitality. Ditch them if you don’t intend to sell your soul to them. The harsh reality, oh, yes, it is.
  29. Finally, don’t burden your partner with impractical expectations. For instance, don’t ask him to take you to the Bahamas, when he cannot afford it and your sole purpose is to just show off your extravagant lifestyle to your Facebook friends and Instagram friends.
  30. Commit only when you can stay with your partner in sickness and sorrow. Commit only when you can handle his anger and his bad temper and still be able to love him after that, otherwise, you are just using your partner for your own relationship gratification.

Live, laugh, love unconditionally.


Author: Chhaya Yadav
Source: Quora

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